Hey guys! Hope all is going well for everyone! This past week has been my Spring Break so I've been home spending it with my family and getting somewhat a restful week... emphasis on *somewhat*... ;)

Spring Break couldn't have come at a better time for me. Stress was starting to really get to me with school and everything else going on with life. Luckily, all of that is finished so I was able to take a breather and enjoy some rest. Since I've been home, I've been able to hang out with my family and the kids some which unfortunately I really don't get to do much of since whenever I do come home I'm swamped with homework. Still, homework needed my attention during this time and I gave in to it within the last few days here. Now that my break is ending, naturally, I'm thinking about what's ahead of me at school: schoolwork, projects, tutoring, working, studying, all-night prayer shindig I'm helping put together... just be in prayer for me as I jump right back into the stress and hard work that's ahead for me as I finish up my last semester at ACC.

During the time I've been home, if there is any thing that was prevalent during my time here it was all the different aspects of life. This past week our neighbors, Fred and Cauline, were devastated when their house was burnt down due to an uncontrollable grease fire that broke out in their kitchen. Fortunately they had house insurance and so in about 6-8 months they will be able to have their home back but more so no one was hurt. Please be in pray for them as they pick up the pieces and try to get everything worked out for them to get back into their home.

Even with this going on, more and more things have happened during this week that have just caused me to stop and realized that not only is life unexpected but also is so rare, precious and we only get one shot at it. I've had friends who's family or close friends suddenly died for various reasons. To those of you out there that are reading this and this happening to, know that I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on and someone to lean on for a time and that you are in my prayers! ;) I've also had two close girlfriends of mine who got engaged this week to their boys. I'm so ecstatic for them and I can't help but rejoice for them before God for such a joyous and wondrous time in life! Girls, if you read this, I love y'all and your boys so much and congrats!!:D

Of course with such things happening, I can't help but wonder myself what exactly God has in store for me. Life for me has never really predictable and I've got to say its been nothing short of an adventure but in all honesty I would like a little predictability. Of course, that's my controlling side wanting to get prepared and ready and make the plans that are good or great to me and not letting God take hold. No matter how hard I pray for the safety and health of my family and friends, eventually they'll leave me as time goes on. No matter how much I may pray and want a special someone in my life so I could feel reassured that I won't face this world and life by myself and know that there is someone who loves me for just being the person God created me to be.



I guess in the end, the thing I fear really isn't death or whether or not I've lived a fulfilling life but what I really fear is loneliness. And yet its the one thing I've pretty much made myself these past several years just so I can try and protect myself and my heart from so many years of moving from place to place, losing friends left and right and falling for guys that either I never had the guts to tell them the truth or them brutally using me and disregarding me. Every time I bump into this conundrum I can't help but be reminded of what CS Lewis depicts of such a heart in his book, Four Loves: "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

Gotta pray through that one... :)

Well that's it for now. Gotta finish packing for school and spend a little more time with the family before I'm gone again! Hope all is well and take care guys!

~Jeanne;)

Hey everyone! Sorry its been so long but you know with life, school and everything else in between it can get a bit hectic! Hopefully I won't do that again but you never know...

So for the past couple of weeks have been hectic for me at school with projects, papers and tests (including midterms coming up... O.o; ). However, I did give myself a day off one Saturday to go visit my great friend, Rich Douglas up in Hartwell! It was so much fun and I enjoyed the free time and the company thoroughly! Hopefully it can be done again...

When it comes to the stuff with Toccoa Falls, I'm stilling trying to finish the application process and everything. Yesterday I applied to attend their campus visiting weekend which is to happen close to the end of March so hopefully I'll learn more about the college, the degree program I'm going into and what kind of financial aid I'll receive there. Honestly, I'm really excited but I'm also kind nervous because I really don't know what to expect up there and whether or not it'll work out for me. Please pray that everything goes smoothly for this situation...

Right now for my quiet time I'm reading Brennan Manning's "The Ragamuffin Gospel" which I've heard so much about but never got a chance to read till now. I am learning so much as well as being challenged in my personal/spiritual walk. For example, one of the things Mr. Manning says in the first chapter of his book really challenges me to reevaluate my concept of faith - "If a random sampling of one thousand American Christians were taken today, the majority would define faith as belief in the existence of God. In earlier times it did not take faith to believe that God existed - almost everybody took that for granted. Rather, faith had to do with one's relationship to God - whether one trusted in God. The difference between faith as 'belief in something that may or may not exist' and faith as 'trusting in God' is enormous. The first is a matter of the head, the second a matter of the heart. The first can leave us unchanged; the second intrinsically brings change." I can't wait to tell y'all more about what I learn once I've finished the book. I really enjoy his style of writing and hope to read more of his stuff!

As I sit here thinking about what to report, I can't help but think about the lives of the Haitians and Chileans who have been rocked by the terrible earthquakes and so many lives lost. When I think about that, I realize my life is NOTHING in comparison to these people hellish lives right now. So many people, especially students, feel like life is completely unbearable. But what about those people and their lives? Is it bearable?! Sometimes I feel so guilty and stupid for complaining about stupid little infinitesimal things like school work, my lack of a social life, not having enough money in my bank account... REALLY?!


~Courtesy of AP


~Courtesy of UK Press

Yesterday and today I've spent most of the day working on a current events project for my Geography class that, at first, I thought was really lame but know that I've done it, I'm grateful! For the first time in a while, I looked at other issues going on in the world and realized just how much this world is almost CRYING OUT to God! I just pray and hope that people will begin to realize and pursue after the truth that is Christ Jesus! For the first time in a long time, my heart has begun to align with God's heart and is being broken over such devastation and evil that dwells in the minds and hearts of God's precious children, whether or not they believe in him and call him Father.

Well, that's it for now! I hope all is going well for y'all and I hope that your hearts may align with God's. Then maybe, MAYBE this world has a chance of being saved...

~Jeanne;)

"Reflection" by knowgodknowlove.com


Hey y'all! Another awesome weekend has come upon us and I hope all of y'all will get the rest you deserve and need...

This past week was the week of tests! I think I had like 3 tests which I really didn't think I was prepared for but now that I've taken them I feel pretty good about all of them. I've also had a few other "tests" come my way as well... spiritually speaking I've been tested with how people are reacting and treating me now that they know I'm more than likely leaving. Its been good but still... kinda difficult. Also I've been facing some things about myself. I've done alot of reflecting and after realizing somethings about myself from moving around and how that has developed me as a person, I've had to face some facts as well as feelings and concepts that I didn't realize I had. Its been good but at the same time very tiring and somewhat painful... please pray that I can continue to process these things and find the ultimate truth in it all.

This past week I've been reading through some of the Psalms which I haven't done in a long time and its just so refreshing and rewarding every time I do. I just found in our school library CS Lewis' Reflections on the Psalms so I'm really excited about reading that and really for the first time ever digging into and learning about the Book of Psalms for the first time ever!

Well in other news, I've been talking about applying to Toccoa and getting that going. I can say now that it's official... I've applied to Toccoa Falls for this coming fall. I've had alot of different talks with people about this and leaving Atlanta Christian College. Some of them were goods, others not so much so... but in the end I've had alot of support and encouragement in it and thank you all for that. The hardest one for me was telling my academic adviser. She's been such a blast and a blessing to have in my life and with her being the history teacher here as well as the Dean of Academics here, I was a little nervous/afraid to tell her about this. However, I knew it needed to be done so plucking up some courage I met with her and thankfully she was completely understanding and supportive of me in this decision (although she kept saying she hates losing me because I've been such a blessing to the school and the best history tutor they've ever had). Afterward, I felt so relieved, it really felt like a load had been taken off of me... now I'm truly ready to get this process going and done!

Well... that's it for now! Hope all of y'all will have a blessed and restful weekend and have a great and safe Super Bowl Sunday... peace and chicken grease! ;)

~Jeanne;)

From deviantART.com by ~RandomK


Hey y'all! Hope all is going well for you guys! Georgia weather hasn't been treating me (or really, any one else) too kindly. Seriously... it needs to make up its mind. >:S

This week has been a week like none other... really, I have worked through and faced so many different aspects of my spiritual walk this week its pretty overwhelming. Last week I told y'all how I was having a hard time once again deciding whether or not to transfer to Toccoa Falls College. Some of you were gracious to help me with great advice and for that I'm grateful! The person who really helped me was my friend Rich Douglas. Rich and I have known each other for a couple of years and we recently were able to touch base again and get to hang out and talk again. Rich was just ordained and became the youth pastor of a baptist church out in Hartwell, GA. I was explaining to him my situation and how I was confused somewhat about whether to go or not. He told me a story he read in in a book by Brennan Manning called "Ruthless Truth", about a man who was trying to decide whether he wanted to serve in India with Mother Theresa or not. He asked her to pray for clarity for him. She said she would not. When asked why not, she replied that clarity was the one thing he still held onto and needed to let go of. It was keeping him from putting faith in what God was doing. In that instance I realized what I had been doing: I had become so focused on gaining clarity from God that I forgot that faith was the first step to it all. Clarity, most of the time, comes AFTER you put faith in him and begin the process of moving in the direction God is leading you. With that and support from my family and friends, I (again) have begun the process of heading to Toccoa Falls this coming fall semester.

Just as there is much celebration that comes with such a situation, there also comes opposition. Some of my friends and the faculty here at ACC have found out and of course are sadden and have tried to convince me otherwise but there is no use. Unfortunately the school doesn't have the program that I need/want here so I have to go. As if that weren't enough, other things have been happening with me and around me. For the first time in a long time, I have again caught a seriously glimpse at the spiritual warfare that is going on. For the past two weeks, I have heard/seen things that I can't describe in any other manner but that the Enemy is ramping up his attacks here on people, their family, situations, etc. For the first time in a while, I have had some "confrontations" with the enemy. Many of my friends have come to me, expressing issues and concerns they have and are facing right now when ever they are away from this campus. Issues like not being able to fend off the enemy, participating in sins they know better than to do, being abused verbally by so called "friends" and family, they and their family members suddenly falling gravely ill and bed ridden, getting robbed, tense situations occurring in public places where police had to get involved, being physically attacked by strangers, getting into car accidents... and the list goes on and on! I tried to figure out why it was happening and when it all got started... it started 2 weeks ago... when I decided to apply to Toccoa Falls!

What was worse was when a few nights ago the enemy came to me! As I was laying in my bed I suddenly felt like someone had thrown this blanket on top of me that covered me completely. When I opened my eyes the room was a lot darker than it should be. I thought it was just because I was so tired. As I closed my eyes to go back to sleep, I felt this pressure on one eyelid then the other as if someone was trying to keep my eyes closed. I ignored it and thought it was my sinuses acting up. The next day for some reason, that situation wouldn't leave me and I couldn't shake it so I took it to God and tried to find out what it meant. That's when I knew it was a warning: a whole new level of darkness was going to descend upon me/ACC/East Point and that the very borders of protection that is set up around our school was going to be tested. As I began to realize this, I actually began to see for the first time the hedges of protection that are set up around this school and its people and how this place is a place of refuge for people here, it is a light in this dark area of the city... so for the past couple of days I have been going to God in prayer, strapping on my armor once again and heading into battle to fight against the enemy once again...



Please, PLEASE pray for me and my school, that the hedge of protection over is stay strong against the enemy, that we may continue to be the light in this dark area and more so that this place be a safe place for sinners but not their sins... thanks everyone and God bless!

~Jeanne;)

Hope all is well for everyone! This past week has been a bit of a long one for me as well as really starting to dig into my classes and trying to keep up with them and get projects started. Of course, only God knows if I'll succeed... @.@;

As I posted last week, I had come to a decision to look into and apply for Toccoa Falls College. After a week of deciding this I began the process of looking into the school and getting ready to apply for it. But for some reason, today I was hit with the realization, thanks to my dad, that maybe a little bit of this decision might have to do with the fact that I haven't really been digging into the word. Understandably so, I was a little upset/hurt (Okay I was pissed... >.<*). I've thought that I had been digging into God's word and doing my devotionals like I had always done. But as I looked back on them, it was true... my spiritual walk hasn't only been endangered by the things and people I lack here but that I had become somewhat half-hearted in my attempts to seek God when I do.

But why?! Why have I become this way? Has it just become a routine and I haven't valued that time like I once did or something else? Maybe because of what I lack here, I've become dishearten in my pursuit. Either way, with all of this coming into play, I'm really rethinking about transferring now...

Please pray that I may, once again, gain clarity on the matter, that I may regain my "internal" compass again and pray that nobody and nothing becomes my primary reason on whether I stay or go; that it be totally God and his will in the matter... I need this so bad right now guys... Thanks!

~Jeanne :*(

For the past week or so, I have been at a crossroads. Not a big deal to some but if its something that is going to alter your life (academically, spiritually, morally, etc.) then its a big deal... to you and your significant others around you. For me, its those and then some...

For the past couple of months, my parents have been talking to me about transferring from my school. I've been attending Atlanta Christian College for about a year and a half and really I liked it. I liked the classes, the people, the teachers, etc... but of course parents aren't thinking about that. They are thinking about your well-being. Because its located in a pretty rough area of Atlanta, my parents insisted that I looked into transferring. I really couldn't believe it but I also couldn't argue... they were right but not just about that. It's a pretty rough and sometimes dangerous area at times (my car got stolen my first year here... long story...) As I sat and thought and evaluated my time and my life here, I suddenly thought about my spiritual life/walk since I walked off the mission field and started here. That's when I realized something I hadn't... I had become stagnant and not just that but I realized that my spiritual life probably wasn't going to get better. I went from getting up at 5am and have hours of devotional time with God, walking away with huge chucks and nuggets of revelations, new-found knowledge and renewed love for him and it not phase me one bit... now it takes everything in me to roll out of bed and squeeze in an hour and hardly walk away with anything from him! Even though I attended chapels and went to D-Groups and looked around me to see who I could go to for spiritual guidance... I was lost! There was no one here to help me, a 25 year old full time student who was needing help and guidance from those who had come before her but there were none!! My spiritual life was in danger... My parents insisted I go someplace safer, some place with better connections, some place with a better spiritual community/life, etc. They suggested Toccoa Falls...

Well naturally, to appease my parents I looked into it. As I did, I found some awesome things about the school (1,000 acre campus, majors and minors that I could never get at my school, etc). As I sat and thought about it some more, I started weighing the pros and cons of transferring. Yes I would be giving up my friends and such but I would be gaining alot in the process. I really didn't know what to do.. I felt this allegiance to the school and the people at ACC and I didn't want to upset them or hurt them. But its not their academic life and more so their desires that are being considered, its mine! I wanted to do what was right, not just in my and others' hearts and minds but more so what was right in God's eyes and heart.

I prayed for clarity, I prayed that nothing foolish or unnecessary be the main reason on whether to stay or go. For almost a week I did and then finally... some clarity came my way. Today here at the school, a man by the name of LeRoy Lawson spoke in our Chapel service. He had spoken earlier in the week and I thought he was a pretty good speaker but nothing else. Then he started into his topic for today... the fork in the road. Naturally my ears perked up and I was ready to hear this. I knew God was going use him for me at least I hoped. And he did...

Dr. Lawson used Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken to help explain things a little better... take a read for yourself...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~Robert Frost, 1915

As I listened I thought, 'Okay God... so then which road should I take?' Then Dr. Lawson interrupted my thoughts and said, "Not every fork in the road is one that gives good roads and bad ones. They can give better and best ones, they can give worse and worst ones... but its up to you to make that choice." That's when it clicked for me... this whole time I was looking at as a good or bad choice instead of a better and best road. As I did, a revelation came to me: why take a road, that though it be broad and easy to walk and have many destinations and possibilities at its end, when another is being offered, one that is a bit more narrow and probably a little harder to walk but it has one destination at its end, the one you desire and knew you were created to reach? Then Dr. Lawson brought up Jesus analogy of the forked road in Matthew 7: "For wide is the gate and broad is the road... many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road... a few find it."

My mind was made up, I got my clarity that I was looking for. I felt a peace after the message I hadn't felt in a while. I was going to take the first step... I ask right now that you pray for me as I begin the process of applying to Toccoa Falls and if this really is what God wants me to do, he'd open the doors and clear the way for me. Hopefully, this is the road that God wants me on... but its as Dr. Lawson said, "Just like there will always be forks in your roads and you are going to have to choose, you will have a time later on in life in which you wonder and/or wish you had taken the other road..." I feel like I'm taking the best out of the two... hopefully, this is so...

~Jeanne;)

Hey everyone!!

Hope all of y'all had a great Christmas and New Year as well as God's presence being more evident in your life! With the beginning of this year, I've started really digging back into my quiet/devotional times and for some reason wisdom has been a big thing... I'm really enjoying what I'm learning and can't wait to see what God has next for me!

Like stated in the title, I've started back to my Spring semester of my sophomore year at Atlanta Christian College and boy did I pick some doozies for classes! Ancient Near Eastern History, History and Literature of Women in America, Geography, Story of Jesus' Followers and Spanish II. Basically 4 of the 5 are history oriented and the only one that isn't is a foreign language! Oh well... I guess that's what you get for being a history major...

I've also had alot of opportunities present themselves to me. Some of them missions, others schools and still others that I really can't mention for fear of jinxing it. When it comes to the missions stuff, I have an opportunity to head to China this summer for a month to teach English there. I just finished some of the application process and had a phone interview this past weekend so right now its all prayers!! I've also had trips presented to me from my college ministry as well as other organizations. My heart has been longing for the mission field since I got back from Mexico about 2 years ago. I want to go NOW but I know the BEST one is when God's favor is in it. So, again, its all prayers and waiting...

For some reason within the past couple of months, my mind has been going towards a subject I've actually tried not to talk about/think about/spend too much time on because... well, I don't want to sound too girly and really I don't think much about it but for some reason its been quite dominate in my thoughts recently: a significant other, a boyfriend. I don't know why, I guess its that I've pushed it aside for so long or that a ton of people I know are engaged and getting married that I can't really think about anything else... its really crazy. Maybe he's in my life and I don't know it right now or that he's on his way or whatever... I just wish God would help me out in this.

One of my New Year's resolutions is to start reading more and not just anything... books that are classics. I kinda got a head start on it in November/December reading Homer's The Iliad and The Odyssey. Right now I'm reading Plato's The Republic... very interesting stuff. I hope to keep this New Year resolution.... ;)

To close, I'd like to leave ya something I've been enjoyed meditating on...

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[d] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light."~Colossians 1:9-12 NIV

~Jeanne;)