Well I'm back here in Atlanta... getting back to classes and homework, chillin' with friends and enjoying the dorm life!

I just finished my second day of classes and have been exposed to all of them now so I know what I'm getting myself into... its been confirmed that there will be NO ROOM OR TIME what so ever for any kind of drama in my life! I've started into my major classes (Educational Foundations) as well as all the other classes (College Math, Biblical Survey, English 102, US History and Intro to Biology). Yep! Full 17 hour days... hopefully this won't be too much for me!

Otherwise, things are good. My family is doing their things- mom is back at school teaching, kids are back at school learning, dad is back to work for Men at the Cross and Jess is looking into going back to school to become a nurse. So proud of all of them!

Now when it comes to me and God right now... I felt, close to the end of last year, that God wanted me to revisit a book I read a while back when I was in Mexico called "Hinds' Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard (if you haven't read this book, Ladies especially, truly a classic... you need to read it!). There are some things in that book that I completely forgot about and when I reread them just recently, they have just captured my heart and mind right now... like when the heroine, Much Afraid is speaking to the Shepherd after he asked her if Love had been planted in her heart. Her reply...

"I think that what is growing there is a great longing to experience the joy of natural, human love and to learn to love supremely one person who will love me in return. But perhaps that desire, natural and right as it seems, is not the Love of which you are speaking?... I see the longing to be loved and admired growing in my heart, Shepherd, but I don't think I see the kind of Love that you are talking about, at least, nothing like the love which I see in you."

Oh my gosh... you have no idea how that floored me when I read that!! The love that all people seek (not just girls, guys!) is a love, really a TRUE love that can never die, never diminish, doesn't have to do with anything physical or sexual or whatever else! The love that is being talked about is the love that the creator of love originally designed for all people to experience... an unrequited, undeserving, unconditional love. Now tell me where you can find a love like that? Especially on this earth? No where! So why are we trying to find a substitute for it so we can just at least experience or "feel" love when the love that is meant for us, for that empty place in your heart is far better, wholesome and truer than even the best love we can find on this earth?

Switchfoot came out with a song called "Easier than love". Take a look at the lyrics...

Sex is currency
She sells cars,
She sells magazines
Addictive bittersweet, clap your hands,
with the hopeless nicotines
Everyone's a lost romantic,
Since our love became a kissing show
Everyone's a Casanova,
Come and pass me the mistletoe

Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone

She is easier than love
Is easier than life
It's easier to fake and smile and bribe
It's easier to leave
It's easier to lie
It's harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we've become?

Where is my soul?
Numb

Sex is industry,
The CEO, of corporate policy
Skin-deep ministry,
Suburban youth, hail your so-called liberty
Every advertising antic,
Our banner waves with a neon glow
War and love become pedantic,
We wage love with a mistletoe

Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone

She is easier than love
Is easier than life
It's easier to fake and smile and bribe
It's easier to leave
It's easier to lie
It's harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we've become?

Where is my soul?

It's easier to love,
It's easier to love
It's easier to love,
It's easier to love
She is easier than love,
It's easier to love

Everyone's been scared to death of,
Everyone's been scared to death of,
Everyone's been scared to death of dying here alone,
alone

Sex is easier than love,
It's easier than love,
It's easier to fake and smile and brag
It's easier to leave,
It's easier to lie,
It's harder to face ourselves at night
Feeling alone,
What have we done?
What is the monster we've become?

Where is my soul? (Where is my?)
Where is my soul?

Interesting huh? Hmm... its a good question, an honest question that can be hard a lot of times to ask ourselves but should be asked more often: Where is my soul? Where is my heart in all this? Am I really willing to inflict such serious wounds upon myself, scarring my heart with a substitute of the real kind of love that should be there just so I won't be alone?

~Jeanne;)