Hey guys! Hope all is going well for everyone! This past week has been my Spring Break so I've been home spending it with my family and getting somewhat a restful week... emphasis on *somewhat*... ;)

Spring Break couldn't have come at a better time for me. Stress was starting to really get to me with school and everything else going on with life. Luckily, all of that is finished so I was able to take a breather and enjoy some rest. Since I've been home, I've been able to hang out with my family and the kids some which unfortunately I really don't get to do much of since whenever I do come home I'm swamped with homework. Still, homework needed my attention during this time and I gave in to it within the last few days here. Now that my break is ending, naturally, I'm thinking about what's ahead of me at school: schoolwork, projects, tutoring, working, studying, all-night prayer shindig I'm helping put together... just be in prayer for me as I jump right back into the stress and hard work that's ahead for me as I finish up my last semester at ACC.

During the time I've been home, if there is any thing that was prevalent during my time here it was all the different aspects of life. This past week our neighbors, Fred and Cauline, were devastated when their house was burnt down due to an uncontrollable grease fire that broke out in their kitchen. Fortunately they had house insurance and so in about 6-8 months they will be able to have their home back but more so no one was hurt. Please be in pray for them as they pick up the pieces and try to get everything worked out for them to get back into their home.

Even with this going on, more and more things have happened during this week that have just caused me to stop and realized that not only is life unexpected but also is so rare, precious and we only get one shot at it. I've had friends who's family or close friends suddenly died for various reasons. To those of you out there that are reading this and this happening to, know that I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on and someone to lean on for a time and that you are in my prayers! ;) I've also had two close girlfriends of mine who got engaged this week to their boys. I'm so ecstatic for them and I can't help but rejoice for them before God for such a joyous and wondrous time in life! Girls, if you read this, I love y'all and your boys so much and congrats!!:D

Of course with such things happening, I can't help but wonder myself what exactly God has in store for me. Life for me has never really predictable and I've got to say its been nothing short of an adventure but in all honesty I would like a little predictability. Of course, that's my controlling side wanting to get prepared and ready and make the plans that are good or great to me and not letting God take hold. No matter how hard I pray for the safety and health of my family and friends, eventually they'll leave me as time goes on. No matter how much I may pray and want a special someone in my life so I could feel reassured that I won't face this world and life by myself and know that there is someone who loves me for just being the person God created me to be.



I guess in the end, the thing I fear really isn't death or whether or not I've lived a fulfilling life but what I really fear is loneliness. And yet its the one thing I've pretty much made myself these past several years just so I can try and protect myself and my heart from so many years of moving from place to place, losing friends left and right and falling for guys that either I never had the guts to tell them the truth or them brutally using me and disregarding me. Every time I bump into this conundrum I can't help but be reminded of what CS Lewis depicts of such a heart in his book, Four Loves: "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

Gotta pray through that one... :)

Well that's it for now. Gotta finish packing for school and spend a little more time with the family before I'm gone again! Hope all is well and take care guys!

~Jeanne;)