Hey everyone! Hope y'all are having a great one, especially to you dads out there! I hope y'all had a wonderful Father's Day! I got alot stuff actually I'm working through right now but I know its all for the best... in the end... ;)

Right now, my biggest success is that I finally finished all of my paperwork for Toccoa Falls! It took forever to get together all of my medical stuff and to finish off tests and stuff but I got it all done! I also found out that my schedule has been put together for me so I will be seeing it soon! Can't wait... just about 7 more weeks! :D


~Courtesy of Books-A-Million

Right now I've digging into a new book for my devotional time, "Knowing God Intimately" by Joyce Meyer. This book, already in its first chapter, is grabbing hold of me and shaking me! In the first chapter it not only talks about us addressing and identifying the feeling of something missing inside of us, but also so much more. Like when it comes to striving to get closer to God. Joyce states it as bluntly and as simply as possible: "At this moment, each one of us is as close to God's throne of grace as we choose to be." ((O.o)); Okay, I don't know about you but if I get as gut level honest with myself as possible, the truth is I really spend hardly ANY TIME with God and there is no one else to blame for that but myself. Not my family, not work, not the kids, not chores... NOTHING! I'm the one solely responsible for my pursuit and time with God! Even though I think I'm spending enough time with him, I can't help but feel ashamed of not spending ENOUGH time with him.
She continues on shows examples out of both the old and new testament about the levels of intimacy that the Israelites (Old Testament-Exodus) and Jesus' followers (New Testament-Luke) had with God/Jesus. In the old testament, specifically in Exodus 19, it talks about the different levels that the people of Israel, as well as certain leaders of theirs, could only go so far. The actual people: the base of the mountain, the 70 leaders along with Aaron and his sons: a little further up, Joshua and Moses: higher still, and finally Moses: to the summit. I can't help but see the huge contrast not only in the devotion and level of intimacy that the people had compared to Aaron and the leaders, these leaders compared to Joshua and Joshua to Moses. If you know the story of what happens afterwards (the making of the golden calf) then you can see that their level of intimacy played GREATLY into their devotion to God:

-The Israelites - only allowed to the base of the mountain - they wanted a golden calf to worship and worshiped it after not hearing or seeing Moses in 40 days
-Aaron, his sons and the 70 leaders - only allowed a little way up - lead in the production and worship of the golden calf
-Joshua - only allowed to go up just below the summit - assisted Moses faithfully, stay in deep devotion with God on a DAILY basis, was one of the twelve spies to go into the promised land but only one of the two to come back and speak in good report about God giving it to them and later became the leader to lead the new generation of Israel into the promised land
-Moses - allowed to go to the summit - received the Ten Commandments, spoke to God face to face as if his friend, continued to lead the Israelites and saw the promised land in his final days.

In the New Testament, another story plays a bit different but you see the same 4 levels being displayed in Luke 10:

-70 people - sent out to cities ahead of Jesus to let them know of his coming
-12 disciples (apostles) - chosen to share a deeper relationship with him
-Peter, James and John - these 3 were chosen to take part in situations that none other could be a part of with Jesus
-John - of the three, he was the only one comfortable enough with his relationship with Christ to lay his head upon his (our) savior's chest as the Lord taught of the kingdom and God.

I don't know about you but I wanna be like Joshua, Moses, Peter, James or even John. And I know God wants me to as well and is willing to get that close to me. HOWEVER, its up to ME to make the sacrifices and make the decisions to become like these men, no one else is responsible for that. :)


~Courtesy of WaxOwl on Flickr

Okay, so you know how people will say things about you and sometimes it either rolls off your back or it kinda shakes you a bit? Well that happen to me this week... one of my coworkers at work was having a terrible day and was feeling quite bad. Then suddenly she walked over to me and hugged me! "Okay..." I thought and proceeded to hug her back. I could tell after hugging her that she was looking for some kind of comfort. Finally she pulled me away and said, "You have the best hugs... almost like a motherly, comforting kinda of hug. I love that and need that some times... thanks... " Now I really took this as a compliment and told her that I am more than happy to hug her when she needed it. But it wasn't until I left work that I realized that that wasn't the first time that I had been labeled as "motherly" and I also know why I'm that way. You see for those of you who don't know, I have four kids in my house all under the age of 11. Ever since the first one was born I've helped to raise them and take care of them. I didn't really realize until now that I have ALOT of motherly qualities and was able to possess them without actually having children myself. I also know that for many people, teens, college students and others, this can be comforting for them when they are needing it! For a single, 26 year old this is a good thing, I guess. My mom says it prepares me for my own kids when they come... I hope so... :)


~Courtesy of Cap-Com.com (sorry but those that know me know I have to get my anime in some way...)

This pic pretty much describes what I'm feeling right now: like the enemy is relentlessly at me, gnawing and picking at thoughts that I know aren't true but I can't help but feel are and they're really gettin' at me right now. One of which is the feeling of being used. Now this isn't a new feeling... this is one I've had for years. And its not just with my friends but even complete strangers just so that they can get what they want. I know that to some extent that this isn't true but in other ways, I can't help but feel like it is. You probably know what I'm talking about: people who come to you, asking for help, for advice, for confirmation, for money, to be the plan B person, to be the backup in case something falls through, for... whatever! And yet these same people who call you "friend", they don't ever return it to you, or they don't call you to check in on you or invite you to anything. You're just the good, wise friend who always is able to make others happy, content and point people in the right direction yet is never happy or content with themselves. *Sigh* Sorry... venting a bit, but right now this is where I'm at and this is what I feel like! Please understand that I don't want to feel this way: I love helping people, giving them advice, blessing them however I can... and yet, it feels like I'm always giving and never receiving anything. I feel almost burnt out... :(

Well, that's it for now. Thanks again for checking it out (sorry for all the venting and it being so long). Take care... later days!

~Jeanne;)