Hey there guys... I know its been a while and sorry about that but stuff really has started ramping up here at school. So I'm taking a break real quick to fill ya in on some stuff... :)

First of all, school is getting a little crazy but manageable. Everyone around here can't wait for Thanksgiving break to get here (which as of today, is about 7 days away). After Thanksgiving, we really only have one week of school left and then it goes right into finals and then we're done! :D I can't wait because I can finally take a breather and just relax and enjoy my time with family and friends. Unfortunately I have Winterim here so I only get like 2 or 3 weeks off from school before jumping right back into it. I am excited about what is to come in the next semester with the Christian Education department and me learning to be a Family and Children's Minister. I can't wait! :D



Well when it comes to my quiet times, I haven't had too much of a theme going for the past couple of weeks except enjoying, studying and meditating on some passages from Psalms and the Prophets. Then at the end of last week, late at night, I asked my roommate if I could borrow a book that I saw was on her bookshelf and I've heard so much about and been told to read and never have: Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. She said yes and thus I began reading it and man...What a book! For the past several weeks and months, there have been questions and statements I have made and within a couple of chapters into this book almost all of them had been asked and answered! The Eldredges help women see the things that God originally designed and meant to lie in a woman's heart and soul but due to the fall and sin entering the world, we see how our sinful world has hurt and warped a woman's heart and soul and how it mars them from truly ever understanding love, God and his true design for women. And yes, in case you were wondering even though I'm a pretty tough girl and grew up with some tom-boyish qualities I too have the longings and desires ever other woman has and that yes I too love playing dress up, to be captivating to someone, to be the belle of the ball, to be romanced and to be irreplaceable in a great adventure... The best quote that I have come across yet in this book speaks so deeply to me and really shook me almost to the core was a couple of chapters in when they talked about being wounded: "We embraced the messages of our wounds. We accepted a twisted view of ourselves. And from that we chose a way of relating to our world. We made a vow never to be in that place again. A woman who is living out of a broken, wounded heart is a woman who is living a self-protective life. The wounds we received and the messages they brought formed a sort of unholy alliance with our fallen nature as woman. From Eve we received a deep mistrust in the heart of God toward us. Clearly, he's holding out on us. We'll just have to arrange for the life we want. We will control our world. But there is also an ache deep within, an ache for intimacy and for life. We'll have to find a way to fill it. A way that does not require us to trust anyone, especially God. A way that will not require vulnerability. In some ways, this is every little girl's story, here in this world east of Eden." ((O.O)) Yeah... that pretty much hit the nail right on the head for me and what I've had to deal with and work through a majority of my life when it came to God, life and love. So much pain, sin, abuse and scars... as a result of these things, I was led to believe so many lies and warped views about myself, God and others (including men... sorry guys) that I didn't realize it until it was later on in life and after I had hurt others and myself so much so. So just like it is for guys and how it the question that haunts them - "Do I have what it takes?" - so it is that women, especially me, have a question that haunts them - "Am I lovely?"



One of the other things that I'm starting to wonder and see more and more is what it really means to put faith into action. I've been reading quite a few pieces of scripture lately (especially out of Hebrews) talking about the hall of faith and about perseverance which again led me to think: "What would faith really look like if I were to put it into action?" What if instead of talking about how we feel or what we think and learn in faith, what if we actually stepped up and put these things that God is showing us and directing us into action? The people in Hebrews 11 were commended for not just having faith, but acting out in faith; putting that faith into action! What if we got a little gutsy for once and did the same? Would we actually be fulfilling the promise of old (vs. 39-40)? Is that why the next verse talks about not letting sin (like from our past, doubt and fear) hinder us and to preserver in the direction that God is showing us and keeping him in the center or it all, letting him guide us and perfect our faith as we run this race? Hmmm... :)

Well that's it for now! Hope y'all have a great week! I gotta get to dinner in the cafeteria or else... see ya around! Later days!

~Jeanne;)