Hey there guys! Hope y'all are all doing well... lots of fun things have happened and I thought I'd share some of it with you...

So yeah, I was able to have a really awesome fall break and even got to escape from the college for a couple of the days thanks to my incredible friend Rich and just had a blast (learned how to put together and shoot a paintball gun :D )! Unfortunately however, all good things must come to end and so today I returned to the hustle and bustle of school and literally felt like I was hitting the ground running. This next week or so I'm going to be spitting out papers and projects left and right so hopefully I won't be too overwhelmed and busy to make time for my family and friends! Hopefully... ^.^;




Yes... during this time off, I was able to get some free time to finally read some books. One of the books that I was able to read was by Francine Rivers called Redeeming Love. Now, I've heard of it and never picked it up until now. Finished this like 600 page book in two days and oh my gosh is it good! It's well written and very different unlike other fictional romantic novels (well... its at least less graphic... don't ask how I know, just trust me...). The story is a revamping of the biblical story of Hosea and his wife Gomer the prostitute except this time instead of being set in biblical times, its set during the mid 1800s during the Gold Rush in California and Gomer was a prostitute who was forced into that world after being raped and trained in that "profession" at the age of 8... and her name is Angel (Amanda/Mandy/Tirzah/Mara...her name kept changing) and Hosea was a farmer named Michael Hosea. I can't tell ya all of it but it will mess with you alot. I know it did me in alot of ways because it was scary to see/hear the thoughts of this girl Angel and her concepts and position on men, God and life and how that's not only how some of my thought life was like but how I still have some of those thoughts running around in my head (so yes, usually the end result was me throwing the book across the room) >.< It was scary to see how those thoughts and concepts were so close to mine and how they were filled with anger and fear and so... misleading. This book really is a good read and I highly recommend it to anyone (especially you ladies)!



Another book that I read (or really listen to) was Joshua Harris' "Boy Meets Girl: Saying Hello to Courtship". Now this book is really, REALLY good... I'm already pretty old fashion as it is (just ask my sister :P ) but I don't mind it. This book really helped me to understand how we have completely disregarded and negated the purpose and practice of courtship and have let dating take the helm of it all. This book really does help you purposefully and prayerfully consider significant others in your life. Harris talks about many different areas in which one can examine and learn more about their significant other without finding it out the wrong way or finding out too late and he always shows how one can bring it back to God being the center of it all! Such a great read... highly recommend this one too! ;)



So again (in case you haven't caught on already) God and I are still walking through and learning more about loving Him, loving others and loving myself. Right now, I have been facing some fears about really letting go, letting the defenses down and just trusting and loving wholeheartedly with friends and family and I can already see and understand why he's doing this. This past week the book of 1st John kept popping up to me and so I thought I should sit down and take a read through it. So I did... and of course I got hung up on chapter 4 where it talks about God being love. Now to some of us that's basic and not that big of a deal. Thing is for the past like 5 months this is how I've been getting to know God. So of course I'm going to dissect this passage to the best of my ability (forgive me you biblical scholars out there but I am not a pro... only a pastor's kid trying to understand this better). So, again, main verse that pops out to all of us is 1 John 4:18 - "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love." That last part of the verse really got me asking God some questions: "So... without fear, would I be perfected in love?" "God, what does it mean and look like to be perfected in love? Does that mean all those past hurts, pains, sins... could I actually finally be able to let them go and forgive myself and have no fear when I step into a new relationship?" That last part... "perfected in love" I've also felt has something to really do with redemption as well. I'm beginning to start to dig deeper and see so hopefully I'll have something to tell you next week! ;)

Well that's it for now! Just a quick prayer request: I need some prayer... well I'm thinking about changing my major and I just really need some clarity on if this really is what God wants or if its just me. Thanks... I'd appreciate it! Love y'all and Later days!

~Jeanne;)